Food for Thought
by Sesshy's Mistress
Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**Chp 8: I admit defeat- BBT/SM**
1. Just Do it

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current Delimma –er… situation: Usagi is giving James advice on finally taking the leap and asking out Lily, before a certain Slytherin has time to snatch her away…**

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"Just do it!" Usagi sighed as she slammed her silver ware atop the table. James had spent the past thirty minutes stealing glances at the one and only, Lily Evans. Though he believed himself to be sly in his observances, he failed to realize that he had been ignoring his friends for the past thirty minutes, especially one Usagi Tsukino who had an interesting tale to tell.

"Usagi," Remus warned, knowing that the girl had grated on James' nerves one too many times in the past over the same subject. "Maybe it would be best if you left it alone." His tone was suggestive, but his gaze was stern. It was an order if she ever heard one. The one thing that she didn't like was being ordered around.

"No," Usagi huffed. She reached out to pinch James' arm and twist the skin. This gained his attention as he jumped in his seat and let out a loud cry, drawing the attention from nearby tables and their patrons. "Finally!" She sighed.

"What the bloody hell was _that_ for?!" James demanded and questioned at the same time. He was rubbing the spot that would surely bruise.

"You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" Usagi questioned in irritation. She leaned her elbow on the table and propped her chin against her fisted hand. She cocked one eyebrow at him expectantly, and wasn't surprised to have received a blank look in response.

Sighing, she retrieved her silverware and began to eat. All the while, Usagi was pretending as if what she had been saying was not a big deal. "Oh, it wasn't anything important." She spoke between bites. "I was just telling you about some idle gossip I had heard recently concerning your darling Lily." She shrugged, but mentally she danced at having caught James' undivided attention.

She also managed to receive glares from his other two friends, plus one side kick, the chubby, rat faced boy she could never remember the name of to save her life. Remus and Sirius both knew she was up to something.

"What about her?" James tried to pretend he wasn't interested, but his friends knew him too well. Usagi knew him better than he would have liked, honestly.

"Well," Usagi drawled as she rolled her eyes in his direction and leaned closer. She brought her hand up to cover her words from other possible peeping and viewing 'toms.' "I heard that Severus Snape asked her to the dance and she is giving it considerable thought. Chasity, the girl from first year, overheard your darling Lily discussing attire for that evening…"

"Usagi-" Remus readied himself to interrupt. The girl had not been speaking of anything of the sort; however, before he could manage another word, she delivered a swift kick to his knee, causing him to cry out in pain. More attention was drawn to the Gryffindor table.

"Now you know –" Sirius began as well, but since he was on Usagi's right side, due to losing his seat because he had arrived late to supper, she was able to stuff a roll into his mouth. She did this all without taking her eyes off of James who looked shocked, angry, confused, and torn.

"So you need to just man up, grow a pair of balls, and ask her out already!" Usagi finally got to her point. "You watch her all the time and I have even seen you writing her name on your parchment. Hell, one time I caught you drooling in your sleep while talking about her!" Usagi counted off the instances that backed up her suggestions. If James didn't like Lily and want to ask her out, then Usagi would kiss Malfoy.

"Usagi, shut up," James hissed when several eyes from their table darted in their direction. It was obvious that her words had been heard by those nearby. James couldn't control the flush that lit his face. Oh, how he could strangle her right now.

"Great," James muttered as one of the Gryffindor girls moved to Lily's side and began to whisper. This caused the red head to turn and catch his eyes. His breath hitched. "Oh God," He groaned. That other girl had been sitting close enough to hear what Usagi's big mouth had to say.

"Besides," Usagi continued, grinning at the exchange between the two. "It's not like you would be asking her to put out on the first date," Usagi popped a chocolate drop into her mouth, completely oblivious to the stares she received and the three glares boring into her being. "Sirius is the playboy in your trio," She reminded with a grin and a wink.

James looked completely mortified as Usagi stood and prepared to leave. She started to walk away, all the while waving goodbye. As she came to the end of the table, she stopped, turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and yelled, "Lily, JAMES WANTS YOUR BABIES!"

The entire great hall fell into silence as Usagi hurriedly left the room, dodging curses all the way.

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**Finals are killing me… ay… and I have my exam for NACES Monday, doctors appointment Tuesday, and I leave for NY Thursday of next week. Shoo, what a week that will be, haha!**

**Enjoy**

**Review if you want more!**

**Also, leave me crossovers you would like to see. I will fulfill the requests if I am familiar with the crossover. You may also leave a word or phrase that I could incorporate into the next shot :) **

**REVIEW**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**REVIEW**


	2. Go For It

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current Delimma –er… situation: Usagi decides to voice her opinion on Bella's relationship…**

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"So…" Usagi hummed under her breath as she sent the brunette a questioning glance. Bella had finally decided to explain to her what all had exactly happened over the past few months and why. Of course, Usagi knew it had to do with Edward Cullen, but the details behind it were still foggy. Bella had refused to open to anyone, even Jacob had been left in the dark to an extent.

Usagi was one of Bella's closest friends, but she understood how important secrets were. And now she understood how frustrating they could be when you were the person on the other end of the secret – the one left out! Usagi definitely didn't enjoy that part.

"You mean to tell me…" Usagi stopped and thought about how she wanted to word this. Her gaze flew to the group of Cullen's that sat at the other side of the cafeteria. They were all watching the duo who stood huddled together at an empty area of the cafeteria. "Bella, you do realize how ridiculous this sounds, right?" Usagi sent her friend a knowing look. Of course, if the brunette knew exactly what extracurricular activities that Usagi took part in, then maybe this wasn't so crazy.

"I know it is a lot to take in, but I know I can trust you with this. I need to tell someone," Bella tucked some of her hair behind her ears. It was a nervous habit that Usagi instantly recognized. She also didn't miss how Bella sent a look towards Edward. The two shared a long look, and Usagi scoffed before stepping between the two.

"So," Usagi dropped her voice even lower. "You mean to tell me that vampires have icy cold skin, normally red eyes, but in their veggie state, gold, and when they step in the sun… they… don't go boom?" Usagi cringed as she recalled what Bella and her had discussed in private earlier during the day when Usagi had bummed a ride to school. Seeing the group now, though, after hearing everything, made it different.

"They sparkle," Bella supplied.

Usagi sighed. "Do you realize how many vampire fantasies you killed for me by telling me this?!" Usagi crossed her arms over her chest, huffing loudly. "After all that work Minako went to in order for me to understand the vampirism sex appeal, and you killed it!" Usagi sent a glare to Bella before moving aside. She wanted better access to take in the group, especially the males.

Usagi had never had a chance to really get to know the Cullens. Yeah, the males were ok to look at, especially the buff one, but they weren't that great. They didn't exactly scream vampire to her. They made her senses go on alert, but…

Usagi eyed the guys, running her gaze up and down their forms. The blonde girl in the group looked pissed as she did so, but Usagi could care less. "Yeah, Bella," Usagi started. "You killed it for me."

"Killed what again?" Bella questioned as a blush ran over her pale cheeks.

"Basically everything!" Usagi growled as she fell into the nearest chair, sulking and pouting clearly. "I mean," She held a hand out towards the group as if presenting the evidence that was clearly under Bella's nose. "I might as well just buy a big popsicle, roll it in glitter, and use that to reach my happy hour. Unfortunately, that shit doesn't do anything for me. Quite the opposite, I think you've officially turned me off to vampires now."

Bella's face was of confusion, and she threw her brown eyes to her boyfriend and his family. She was even more confused to see the males blushing, especially Emmett!

"But, Bella, if that is what turns you on, then you go for it girl," Usagi placed a supporting hand on Bella's shoulder. "You can have it, all of it. Ride it all night long if you want, but just keep the details to yourself, hunny." Usagi patted Bella's back one more time before turning and leaving.

Bella was blushing from head to toe when she realized exactly what Usagi meant. She didn't know whether or not to be insulted, embarrassed, or angry. From the looks on the Cullen's faces, they didn't know what to do either.

"Hey," Bella turned and reached out for her friend. "Aren't you going to eat lunch? You never skip a meal."

"I kinda lost my appetite," Usagi shrugged and pulled her arm free. "Plus, now I have to find something else to fantasize about since you killed the thrill of vampires. Maybe I should go with werewolves, the vampires mortal –er- immortal enemy…" Usagi considered as she turned and left the cafeteria, fully planning to skip school.

Bella considered telling her about Jacob and the others, but decided against it for now.

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**Yeah, don't hate me, please. I was just thinking about this idea while I was freezing in my non-heated house between doing laundry. So, yeah. Now I am going to go and study for NACES, because I do not want to have to pay another $101.00 to retake the NACES exam.**

**Pray that I pass it the first time, my people!**

**Sesshy's Mistress  
**

**PS: Thanks to my reviewers. I had one suggestion for another one-shot that I am mulling over. I think I will do it with a DBZ crossie. **


	3. Compensation

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current Dilemma –er… situation: Usagi decides to voice her opinion on a certain pink shirt…**

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She had been digging through the fridge, hunting for one of the wine coolers that she and Bulma liked to have on hand when they got together. After all, it was a scorching 103 degrees outside, and she was craving a Fuzzy Navel. It took a while to dig past all of the excess food stuffing the fridge, but she finally found what she was looking for at the back of the fridge.

"Finally!" Usagi exclaimed as she pulled two bottles free. She stood and examined them, making sure they were the ones she wanted. Satisfied, she took one last look in the fridge and made a mental note to remind Bulma that she was supposed to be on a diet. Turning around, she kicked the fridge door shut and looked up to meet the gaze of an angry looking man.

"Hello," She stated as she eyed him. The man was built! He reminded her of Goku, only a lot shorter and with hair that resumed the green of a carrot. Usagi's nose twitched at that thought. How she hated carrots. "Can I help you?" She asked when the man crossed his arms to glare at her.

"Who are you?" The YMCA wanna be questioned. "And what the hell are you doing digging through my stuff?"

"Excuse me?" Usagi placed her hand on her hip, cocking it to the side as she shot this man an exasperated look. She moved her gaze from him to her drinks. "So you drink Fuzzy Navel wine coolers?" She eyed him again, especially the very tight pink shirt that stretched over his muscled chest. DAMN! He was built.

"What?" The guy looked slightly confused and insulted.

"If I hadn't bought these myself, I might believe they were yours. It would go with your shirt," Usagi let a sarcastic grin stretch over her face. All those muscles and then those tight pants and shorts. Gotta say, that screams 'compensating' if you know what I mean?" Shrugging, Usagi moved to the side, placing the drinks on the counter so that she could find the bottle opener. Bulma had a bad habit of tossing it in a drawer with other, miscellaneous kitchen tools.

"Compensating?" The guy glared at her. "Compensating for what?"

Usagi snorted. "You're kidding me right?" She questioned as she dug through the drawer and cheered when her hand wrapped around the desired object. Before answer him, she popped the lid off both drinks, and took a big swig of her own.

"Answer me, woman," the guy demanded. Usagi's eyes widened.

"Okay," She took another quick swig, mentally preparing herself to put the guy in his place. "First off, I have a name and it sure as hell isn't 'woman'." She finger quoted. "Second, who the hell do you think you are? This is Bulma's house, and last I heard, she wasn't letting some short, carrot toped midget with packaging issues live with her."

Vegeta turned red when he noticed her gaze drop to his crotch at the mention of the word 'packaging'. "Just what the hell are you implying?!" He demanded of her as he stalked closer. His hands were fisted at his side. How dare this little girl insult him!

"What I mean to say, big boy," Usagi spoke after licking her lips. "Is it's not my fault that Jr down there," She pointed her finger at his crotch. "Isn't measuring up to the rest of you," she waved towards his muscle. "Instead of trying to compensate by wearing tight clothes to show off your physique and, not to mention, being a self-conceited ass, try to be a little nicer. Who knows, maybe a girl might look past the fact that you are making up for what you lack in the downstairs department, unless, you know, you don't like girls….?"

Vegeta's power began to spike with each word coming out of her mouth. It took all of his will power not to summon his ki and blast her into the next dimension.

"Usagi!" Bulma called from the outside. "Are you coming?"

"Coming, I'm just finishing up with something in here," Usagi hollered back. Turning her attention to the fuming man, she tried to walk past him but he grabbed her wrist, nearly crushing it in his tight hold. "Hey, who the hell do YOU think YOU are? You can't just grab a girl like this!" She tried to jerk her arm free, but he wouldn't budge. She glared.

"I'm the Prince of the fucking Saiyans," the man snarled.

"Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England," Usagi snorted. "Okay, not England, the moon, but thanks to green bean that's gone, so might as well be England."

Vegeta raised a skeptical eyebrow as he watched the blonde woman argue with herself.

"Now, be a good boy and let me go," Usagi jerked on her arm. "Or else!"

"Or else what?" Vegeta egged her on as he smirked in confidence towards her.

"Or else this," Usagi growled as electricity flew down her arm and to his hand, shocking him hard enough to send him flying backward. The smell of burnt flesh filled the room, and again Usagi's nose twitched. "Next time, don't fuck with me unless you got the goods to handle me."

She grinned as she stormed out, her heels clicking as she headed towards the back patio, drinks in hand and ready to relax.

"Asshole.."

And thus began WWIII between Usagi Tsukino and Vegeta. All because one, Bulma Briefs, had chosen to give him a pink shirt to wear and she would come to regret it dearly, as would everyone else who ever entered that place when Vegeta and Usagi were around each other.

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**What fun! Nothing like insulting a guy's equipment to start a day of relaxation with a gal pal, no?**

**RxR**

**Sesshy's Mistress**


	4. Need to Know

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current dilemma: (Serious Drabble) Usagi reminisces on her past while helping someone cope with their own.**

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"Is something wrong?" Usagi questioned as she turned her full attention from the milkshake in her hands and to the man before her. She eyed him curiously, noting the changes that would come and go at the weirdest times. His eyes were the one thing that always captivated her when he was like this… when he was surrounded by the darkness.

"No," he denied, but his eyes were distant, seeing something beyond her and what her eyes would see.

"Yami," Usagi sighed while pushing her drink aside. "What happened on your date today with Tia?"

A heavy flush filled the youth's face and a look of embarrassment covered his features. "D-date?" He stuttered in denial. "It wasn't a date."

"Oh?" Usagi tilted her head curiously. "I heard you two were going to the museum."

"Yes," Yami nodded.

"With each other?" Usagi crossed her two index fingers.

"…Yes.." Yami nodded again and gave her a confused look.

"Normally that means the two said people went on a said 'date,'" Usagi stated but shrugged. "So what did you see at the museum that has you so upset?" She questioned with both hands now resting on the table. One reached out to grab his free one. Usagi tried to ignore when she felt him tense and attempt to pull away. She wouldn't let him run from it, though. Something was bothering him deeply.

Yami could sense that his blonde friend was not going to relent and end the discussion. So, with a sigh of frustration that was directed towards himself more than her, he relented. Leaning forward, his dark red eyes bore into her deep blue ones. "Have you ever felt as if you lost a piece of yourself and, regardless of how hard you try, you can't seem to find it."

He was surprised to see how taken aback Usagi was at such a serious subject, but what surprised him even more was the fact that, after the surprise, a look of understanding and pain flashed in her dark eyes. It was momentary but he caught it just the same. Then, it was his turn to hold onto her, refusing to release her so that she could fall back into herself.

Now, however, she refused to meet his gaze. Instead she turned it to the milkshake that lay abandoned on the table, still half-way full. He called her name softly, and reached out with his other hand to grasp her chin and gently turn her face back towards him.

"Usagi?" He repeated when she still refused to meet his gaze.

"Sometimes," she finally spoke. "Sometimes… it is better to leave things in the past. Not everything is meant to be remembered. Some are best left forgotten." Her tone was so sad. Yami could sense the shift in the atmosphere. Usagi was normally so cheerful and sunny. She was like light personified. Now, it was as if the light was being smothered out, leaving only a dim flicker.

"Usagi wha-"

"Yami," Usagi interrupted him. She knew what would be coming, and she didn't want to hear it or worry him further. She finally caught his gaze. Both of her hands slid to cup his face. He was so warm. She smiled at the look of shock and embarrassment on his face. "Don't let the past interfere with the present. You are surrounded by people who love you and want to help you. If you linger too long in the past, you will lose the future which lies before you. Don't make that mistake. Please…"

"I need to know," Yami argued. "These memories are short and sudden, and they still leave me with so many unanswered questions. You couldn't possibly understand what it's like to have pieces of yourself lost in the darkness, to not know who you are or what your purpose is!" He didn't want to hurt her feelings. He valued her as a friend. Yugi valued her as a friend as well. He didn't want to ruin that relationship. His hands fisted tightly.

"I understand more than you could ever know, Yami," Usagi released him suddenly and stood. She left the booth and stood beside him, looking down at him seriously. "I won't argue with you, but just remember what I said. And… be careful." She bent forward, pressing a kiss to his brow before turning and leaving. In that instant, as she passed by the windows and the light poured over her, Yami could have sworn her hair changed from brilliant gold to luminous silver. Her outfit melted into a short dress of white, and a pair of transparent wings flared from her back. When she passed out of the light, the image died away and Yami shook his head to clear it.

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**I have no idea so don't even ask.**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**RxR**


	5. Gender Issues

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current dilemma: Usagi (as Cosmos) pops in to see what is happening on a normally peaceful planet.. she had no idea she was walking into the middle of a battle…**

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She didn't understand what she was seeing at first. It was quite odd. Not because there were two figures floating in the air, swinging punches, throwing energy beams, or the fact that a dragon towered over the lands, his massive form floating in the dark skies.

No. Cosmos stared at the form of an alien like creature. She had arrived just in time to see it shift forms. The thing's power increased with its transformation. It had been an awkward pink, white, and purple color with striation like scales for skin, from the looks of it. Now it resembled a somewhat normal being with white skin and purple patches.

"I must be drunk," Cosmos shook her head and brought her free hand to rub at her temple. A migraine was starting to form. Suddenly, the human like figure with muscles that were bigger than her own waist came flying to the ground. Cosmos took a step to the side, avoiding being slammed into and the body of the unknown male went skidding along the ground.

Her gaze followed the trail of destruction his body left in its wake. She whistled.

Attention was drawn to her then by the freak with the purple lipstick. Cosmos blinked when the being was suddenly in front of her, fist headed in her direction. Blinking, Cosmos opened a portal and the beings fist flew into it.

"Well hello to you too," She jumped back a safe distance and summoned the flames of Mars to her hand. They licked at her skin as she waited to see what the guy…girl…. thing would do. It seemed to be in shock as it pulled its hand free and the portal disappeared. "You must be the one causing all the trouble."

Cosmos' eyes flickered to the distance, it looked like two small people, probably kids, and another human like male was flying her way. From behind her, she could sense the other energy signature recovering and headed back her way.

"Who are you?" The thing in front of her demanded. It crossed its arms over its chest.

"It's impolite to demand the name of someone without offering your own first," Cosmos replied calmly. This was not received well and the sneered at her.

"Why you little bitch," It took a step forward.

Cosmos quirked a brow. "Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" She slammed the tip of her staff into the ground, making the end of it sink into the dirt, allowing it to stand on its own. "If you don't want to play nice, I won't either. I was just curious to know what was going on, and what do I find? Some freak with gender issues making a fuss and acting the part of a bully."

"How dare you!" The thing yelled. "I am Lord Freeza, the most power –"

"You're a guy?" Cosmos interrupted as she ran her gaze over his figure in an inquisitive manner. "Are you sure about that?" She questioned again in honest curiosity. "I mean… yeah, you're flat in the chest, but you have nothing going on downstairs, and, come one, you're wearing lipstick!" She held her hand out, motioning to each point she was making. "Even your voice is girly."

Freeza began to shake in anger. He shot out one of his more powerful attacks. Shouts of warning flew in Cosmos' direction, but she stayed calm. As the energy came flying towards her, she opened another portal where the ball of energy disappeared. Another opened behind the one known as Freeza, slamming into him and sending him flying. Again, Cosmos side stepped so that the supposed male wouldn't slam into her.

"Wow," a small bald guy said in appreciation as he checked out the woman who had just sent Freeza flying with one of his own attacks.

"Is that guy really a guy?" Cosmos questioned as she looked toward the trio in front of her. "And is he running around naked?" The three face planted to the ground, including Vegeta who had stared open mouthed at the woman in surprise at her abilities.

"Are you guys okay?" Cosmos spoke in concern at the same time as the man from earlier, the first who went flying by her.

"Hey there, I'm Goku, who are you?" The man asked as he took notice of her. "You shouldn't be here, it's too dangerous for you."

"Goku!" The bald one spoke up. "Are you okay? You should have seen it! She sent Freeza flying with one of his own attacks!"

"Yeah, Dad!" The boy next to the bald man spoke.

"You did?" Goku questioned and then smiled as Cosmos nodded.

Before either could say anything else, Freeza suddenly came flying from behind. Cosmos turned her head and grinned as the alien came at her and she merely used another portal. It closed behind Freeza as he flew into it, going too fast to stop in time to avoid its sudden appearance. When the portal opened up, he came out flying into the side of a mountain.

"Wow!" Goku exclaimed in excitement. How did she do that? "Can you teach me that trick?"

Comsos blinked a few times, seriously taking in his demeanor and smiling at the pure energy that radiated off of him. He was a good man. "Only if you can tell me if that Freeza guy is really a guy and tell me why he's running around naked."

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**Blah!**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**RxR**


	6. Naked Truth

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current dilemma: Usagi knows just what to say to break up a …tense situation..**

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Cosmos shifted slightly as her bright eyes glanced around the room, taking in the features of everyone present. While she did not normally play well with others in a group, it was they who had sought her out. Well, more like the intimidating man with the eye patch had forced her co-operation. She huffed silently at that thought and crossed her hands over her chest in annoyance.

Just because she wasn't technically a human didn't mean she knew the skinny on every alien life source out to endanger the planet. Hell, they already had one alien on their side and one held in a giant glass cage. Wasn't that enough? It wasn't that she didn't want to help, but the fact that she had been blackmailed and threatened to assist that had her pissed.

"Fighting amongst ourselves isn't going to get us anywhere," She spoke up when the tension continued to escalate. It seemed that some were unsure as to how well Dr. Banner could assist them given his difficulty to maintain his temper. Of course, she went ignored for the most part, save for a suggestive glance from Stark.

Cosmos' annoyance triggered her powers, and lightning licked at her fingers. The change in electrical charge made the electronics in the room malfunction for the briefest of moments before she realized what she was doing and tried to calm herself.

She honestly didn't understand it. Loki had been captured. It was obvious to her that the man was hiding something. It had been way too easy for the others to capture and retain him. Of course, the prison of which he was being held was part of the reason for the tension. Dr. Banner was not happy to see what S.H.I.E.L.D had created for a "just-in-case" situation.

"You need to step away," Fury spoke when it looked like Dr. Banner was losing his cool. Cosmos' eyes quickly moved to assess the good doctor, and indeed he seemed to be upset, but not enough to cause harm to anyone present.

That was another reason Fury had recruited her. He wanted someone that could easily take control of a situation should it get too heated. Unfortunately for him, Cosmos wasn't the type to control people's emotions like that. Only if anyone was in direct danger would she even contemplate using Venus' abilities to manipulate the good doctor.

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" Tony questioned while laying a hand on Steve's shoulder. The Captain didn't take it that well and shoved Tony's hand away. Cosmos could almost see the vein in the Captain's head about ready to explode. This was a confrontation long overdue.

"You know damn well why. Back off," Steve demanded as he sized Tony up with a single glare.

"Here we go," Cosmos sighed to herself as she caught Black Widow's gaze. Apparently only the women of the group had enough common sense and restraint not to start a pissing contest with every other member of the group.

"I'm starting to want you to make me," Tony replied in return. He, too, was ready for the confrontation. It was easily recognizable in the way the two men stood facing each other with their shoulders back and form rigid.

"Heh," Steve circled Tony. "Big man in a suit of armor; take that off and what are you?" He questioned while leaning in closer towards Tony, trying to be intimidating.

"He'd be naked," Cosmos stated nonchalantly, causing all the men in the room to choke on air. Tony began to laugh loudly at the incredulous look on Steve's face as the good Captain turned to look at Cosmos.

"Now if you boys are done with this pissing contest, can we move on to the more serious situation? I can assure you, the size of your penises and whose is bigger isn't important right now. Saving the world is. So, if you two are done, can we move on to the next topic?" Cosmos placed her hands on her hips and raised her silver brow in question.

"You measure your penises?" Thor questioned in confusion, not understanding the sarcasm or the meaning behind the reference.

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**Yeah…. So…. Blah!**

**My birthday is tomorrow, and while I wish I was more inspired to update my other stories, everyone was lucky to get this!**

**Sincerely,**

**Sesshy's Mistress**


	7. I am God

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current Delimma –er… situation: How could they mistake her for something so vile and disgusting?!**

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**...**

Usagi spat as water was flung in her face. She had just been taking a deep breath so as to yell at them some more. Did they not realize how stupid they were being? Seriously! Did she look like a demon? She coughed and before she knew what was happening, one of the boys had her head tilted back and was forcing her to take in water. She coughed and gagged as she was forced to swallow it, and some of it managed to slip into her lungs. So help her, when she got free, their asses were ash!

"You son-of-a-bitch!" She growled before spitting at him. "Just who the hell do you think you crazy fucks are?" She glared daggers at them.

"Shut up," The shorter haired one spoke as he flung salt at her.

"Damn it," Usagi cursed. "That was my eye!" She kicked out and grinned savagely as she made contact. Opening her eyes, she could barely see through her blurred vision as the guy fell to his knees, cupping his groin and groaning. "Serves you right ya asshole!"

"Dean, are you okay?" The shaggier haired guy questioned in concern.

"Yeah, is the midget okay?" She questioned in sarcasm.

"I'm fine, Sammy," Dean spoke softly. He struggled to stand and his hand stayed cupped over his groin. He winced when he tried to stand fully erect. "Actually, I think I need to sit down for a few." Sam led him to a nearby chair and handed him a book.

After taking a minute or two to gain his breath, Dean flipped through the pages before finally finding the one he needed. He began to recite the passage in Latin. Sam stood by and watched in anticipation. When Dean was halfway through the citation, Sam turned to stare at his brother in a questioning look. Why wasn't the demon in pain? Just what the hell was going on?!

"Why isn't it working?" Sam spoke allowed. His irritation was easily recognizable.

"Maybe because his Latin sucks!" Usagi stated as if it were obvious. Dean growled and grabbed a gun laying on the table nearby. Striding forward while ignoring the pain between his legs, he pointed the barrel between her eyes.

"If you don't shut up—"

"Dean, look out!" Sam tried to warn, but it was too late. The silver haired girl had kicked the gun out of his hand with one foot, and kicked Dean in the balls again with the other foot. Dean fell to the ground again, his head resting the floor as he cupped his balls and silently cried.

"Not only does your Latin suck, but you aren't very bright, are you short stuff?" Usagi cooed softly as Dean glared up at her. "Now be a good boy and lick my boot and maybe I'll forgive you after you remove these cuffs."

"Bitch," Dean growled as Sammy knelt down to help him up. Usagi grinned and kicked to the side, her heeled foot connecting with the other man's face. She couldn't help the smug satisfaction she felt when she heard bone crunching and giving way to the force of her kick. It was amazing how spending most of her life running and jumping around in four inch heels while saving the world could work your calf and thigh muscles. Who knew?

A shot rang through the air and Usagi cried out in pain as a bullet lodged itself into her leg. Dean had managed to back pedal far enough to retrieve his gun. Instead of giving her a killing shot, he shot her in the leg, hoping it would prevent any more damage to his goods.

Usagi leaned forward, panting through the pain as her body began to slowly heal. Damnit! She would have to inflict another wound to retrieve the bullet later at this rate. Her eyes ran around the room. After drugging her, the assholes had brought her to an abandoned cabin. No one would be near these parts any time soon, so calling for help was a bad idea. The drugs were still lingering in her system as well.

Suddenly, her eyes caught sight of the keys to the cuffs. They were laying on the table next to the fireplace. Quickly moving her gaze elsewhere so as not to arouse suspicion, she tried to summon some powers. Nothing came to her..

"…should we do?..." The two guys were whispering to themselves in the corner. Every now and then they would look at her in suspicion.

"Take your time, boys," She grinned. "Not like I have anything important to be doing at the moment other than catering to your stubborn asses!" They ignored her for the most part. Sam was pulling out a cell phone and dialing a number. Good, the longer they took the better for her. Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths. She couldn't make a distraction, then how else could she get to the keys? Again, she played with the powers she had at her disposal. In this form, the strength was severely hindered, but they were available.

The only one that would answer her calls was Pluto. Unfortunately, she wasn't strong enough to summon a portal big enough to allow her escape. Even if she could, where the hell would she go? She had no idea where she was, and if she just suddenly appeared in the wrong place at the wrong time, who knew what could happen to her in this drugged state.

She could summon a portal large enough to fit her hands through but—

_Eureka!_ She thought to herself. She summoned the portal behind her and leaned her chair back on its hind legs as if she was bored. She whistled softly to herself as her eyes rolled around the room. The boys spared her a glance, but went back to talking to the person on the phone. When she was sure they suspected nothing, she managed to open another at the table. Leaning back slightly further, she barely managed to hook a finger on the loop hole of the keys.

"Okay, we'll call you when we find out more," Dean stated and Usagi panicked. She yanked the keys and pulled them through the portal. Unfortunately it caused her to fall. She managed to throw her weight to the side and she winced at the impact. Dean laughed at her while Sam narrowed his eyes in suspicion. It didn't matter, she was quickly working her way out of the cuffs.

Thank God for Minako's weird Bachelorette Party games. Who knew it would pay off in the long run? Really, when it was first suggested to have a race to see who could escape cuffs the quickest, Usagi had thought her insane. Now, she could kiss Minako for it!

Sam realized before Dean as to what was happening and he lunged for her. The click of the metal was all she needed, and she rolled to the side. Dean was no longer laughing as he, too, ran after her.

"Cosmos Power Make—" Dean's body slammed into her, cutting her off. She fought with him, slamming her fists into every part of his body that she could reach. Sam was busy finding something else to restrain her with, leaving it up to Dean to wrestle her.

"You sorry ass!" Usagi growled as she began to knee him too. Unfortunately, she wasn't strong enough, and Dean managed to pin her arms above her head and wedge his lower half between her legs, ensuring she couldn't knee him in his already sore groin. One more hit like before and Dean was sure his cock would rot off.

"What are you going to do now, demon?" Dean asked between breaths. She had put up quite a fight, and if it had been any other woman, he'd of gladly told Sam to leave and give them some privacy. Maybe after they exorcized the demon he and the girl could talk about her making it up to him for all of those kicks to the balls.

"Just this," Usagi grinned. "Cosmic Power Make up!" Energy burst forth from her chest, sending Dean flying. The power from the transformation had also sent Sam flying into the nearest wall. The two fell to the floor and stayed there until the blinding light had disappeared. When they dared to look up, Dean's jaw dropped as he gazed at the woman in white with two huge wings arching from her back.

"I'll be damned," He coughed.

"Dean," Sam whispered. "I don't think she's a demon."

"You think?" Dean questioned in sarcasm.

As the two recovered and while Cosmos was slowly counting down to ten in her head, Castiel appeared within the room. His appearance was haggard as if he had been rushed to arrive in time. "Dean, Sam!" He exclaimed as he arrived on the scene. His back was to Cosmos as he looked at the two men still lying on the ground in pain. "I was wrong, she isn't a demon."

Dean and Sam shared a look. "Ya think?!" They demanded simultaneously.

"Took you long enough," Cosmos huffed as she cocked her hip and placed a hand on it, clearly reflecting with her body language how fed up and pissed off she was with the three men. "Could you have taken any longer to figure that out, Cass?"

"Cas, you know her?" Sam grunted as he forced himself to stand and used the wall to lean against.

"Is she an angel?" Dean questioned as he ran through the events of that night. No wonder none of the regular demonic protocols had worked on her. "I knew she was too cute to be a demon." He grinned as he leaned against the wall for support as well. Dean threw her a cheeky grin followed by a wink. Cosmos simply rolled her eyes.

"No, she isn't an angel," Castiel spoke after taking a nervous breath.

"What is she then?" Sam questioned in honest curiosity. She certainly looked like an angel with those large white wings.

"God."

Dean and Sam both stared in shock towards Cosmos who was shaking her head as she pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "I'm a god….-er- Goddess…" She explained as she pushed her hair out of her face and huffed in annoyance.

"Are you the one who talks to Joshua?" Dean questioned in confusion.

"Aw, you're so cute when you're clueless, but no," She shook her head for emphasis. "But I do love all those pretty roses of his! I'm actually the one in charge of Cass at the moment." Cosmos advanced towards Castiel and hooked her arm around his. Castiel stood unsure of what to do. It wasn't everyday one allowed the Winchesters to torture THE goddess….

"If I tell him to jump, he says how high," She grinned while leaning her head against Castiel's shoulder. "If I tell him to bend over and take it like a man, well…" She giggled at the look of horror over the angel's normally stoic face.

"I rebelled once," Castiel spoke with a hint of fear in his voice. Though Cosmos was said to be kind and the epitome of light and all it represented, she did have a mean streak the likes of which Castiel feared. Chaos was worse, but to scorn her was worse than to rot in the deepest pits of hell where not even Castiel's true God could rescue him.

"I know," Cosmos patted him on the cheek. "But now you owe me after such a wonderfully fun time." She grinned in promise to Castiel. "So which of you would like to step up to bat?" She laughed at the look of horror on their faces. Could they not tell she was joking?

"Sammy," Dean stated. "I'm out of commission for now—"

"Oh," Cosmos perked up as she moved forward. Dean pressed himself further against the wall in fear. "That reminds me. We should really take care of your injury. R.I.C.E and all that, don't ya know?" Cosmos grinned. When Dean seemed hesitant, Cosmos used the powers of Venus to soothe him before summoning Mercury's powers of ice.

"Ooops," Cosmos giggled with a thick layer of clear ice formed over Dean's crotch. "A little too much. Guess it's the drugs," she shrugged off the look of horror and pain on Dean's face as his balls tingled from the frozen patch of ice.

"I could melt that for you," Cosmos offered as a flame ignited in her hands. Dean's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell with a thunk to the floor. "No fun," Cosmos pouted. "Well, Sammy, you might want to get some hot water and a hair dryer. You only have a few minutes before Dean is permanently out of commission in the bedroom, and that would be a damn shame!"

…

* * *

...

**Yeah… this was kind of a crack one-shot, lol! Review! I am so pissed at the lack of response I had from last time. That was some funny stuff, too! By the way, thanks to MegaKat for the fun chit chat and inspiration for the last part of this lolxD  
**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**RxR**


	8. I admit defeat

**Food For Thought**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…**

**Current dilemma: Hell will freeze over before she lets that American Hillbilly rag on her…**

**…**

* * *

**...**

"Do you see what I see?" Howard questioned as he leaned closer to Raj. His eyes were locked on a blonde Asian sitting in the back corner of the cheesecake factory. Leonard, Howard, and Sheldon moved to follow his lecherous gaze and spotted the modestly dressed woman.

"Isn't that?" Raj questioned in surprise, his eyes widening as well.

"Ah, yes, Tsukino Usagi," Sheldon spoke with disdain as he returned his attention to the BBQ bacon cheeseburger with cheese, bacon, and BBQ sauce on the side. "The creator of the Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon."

"What is she doing here?" Leonard questioned as he adjusted his glasses. The three of them watched as Penny delivered a large piece of cheesecake to Usagi's table. The two women spoke for several minutes before Penny made her exit to check on the guys.

"Everything good here?" She questioned. When she went ignored, she followed their gazes to her previous table and sighed loudly. "Okay, I know that look. You dorks are nerding out over something." She crossed her arms over her chest and moved to step to the side, blocking the view of her other customer and bringing herself to their attention.

"You'll have to excuse them, Penny," Sheldon spoke as he looked up to catch her eye. "You see, that woman is the creator of a new Manga called Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon, a mediocre degradation of the fine art of Manga for which, under much disbelief from yours truly, has grown in popularity both in Japan and several other countries, including America."

"Manga?" Penny questioned, her nose scrunching as she tried to figure out what it meant.

"It's a type of comic book," Leonard explained. He was still staring at the woman as he was the only one who could see around Penny.

"You think she dresses up in those designs of hers to practice the poses?" Howard questioned as he leaned over the table. His hands were squeezing the edge of the table tightly as he looked at each of his friends in excitement.

"And this is where I leave," Penny stated as she left them.

"No, Penny wait!" Howard called out after Raj whispered into his ear. Penny slowly walked back over. "I'd like a piece of cheesecake if you will." Howard grinned as Penny slowly left to get his order.

"You never eat their cheesecake," Raj stated as he looked at Howard in accusation. "What are you up to?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sheldon questioned after finishing the bite of his burger. "From the way she devoured that entire slice of cheesecake in less than thirty seconds, Howard is planning to offer her a gift in exchange for a chance to say something inappropriate. Given his history, this will result in bodily harm, and we will have to listen to him whine for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Meanwhile, Penny will be forced to ask us to leave before I have a chance to finish my meal."

"Shut up," Howard ordered as Penny returned with his cheesecake. After she left, Howard moved to stand, but Leonard beat him to it. Reaching out, Leonard grabbed the cheesecake and ran over to Usagi's table with Howard close behind.

"Excuse me," Leonard spoke, catching Usagi's attention and bringing it away from the doodle she had been working on previously. "I'm sorry to bother you, but you see, our waitress got my order wrong. I can't eat cheesecake –"

"He's lactose intolerant," Howard stated as he came up and looked over Leonard's shoulder. "One bite of that and BOOM." He grinned while elbowing Leonard out of the way. "Hi, I'm Howard Wolowitz and, I must say, your work is phenomenal."

"Thank you?" Usagi spoke softly as she eyed the two American's with uncertainty, especially the one Howard who seemed to be locked in a staring contest with her breasts. She leaned into the corner of the booth, wanting to put as much space between her and the weird little man as possible. Instead of catching the hint, Howard slid into the booth next to her.

"I have to ask," Howard began with a grin as he turned to face her cornered form.

"No, no you don't," Leonard stated while trying to shut him up.

"Yes, yes I do," Howard stated with a small glare towards Leonard, silently telling him to fuck off.

"If you are about to ask me if I dress up as my characters, save your breath," Usagi stated, easily figuring out where the conversation was going. It seemed she was right, too. The weird little man named Howard seemed to deflate at that. Before she could politely request the return of her solitude, another man walked up to the table. He seemed to be foreign as well, and when he spoke, she recognized his Indian accent.

"Well, hello there," He grinned widely. "I'm Raj Koothrapali, or as your people say, Koothrapali Raj!" Leonard and Howard groaned and, from their table, Sheldon stood and moved to the table as well. The group of four effectively blocked any way of escape save for climbing over the back of the booth.

"While you're at it, why don't you just ask her to dress up in a traditional Japanese school uniform, bounce around, and call you Master while she serves you sake?" Sheldon questioned while handing Raj a Grasshopper. "I believe this is yours. "

"Why would he do that?" Usagi questioned as she began to gather her things. She would jump over this booth if it came down to it.

"Because at the rate he's going, the only thing he'll be getting besides a hangover is a restraining order. Let's be honest, compared to Stan Lee and Leonard Nemoy, both of whom I have their signatures on those particular pieces of legal documentation, yours would not be nearly as impressive." Sheldon answered blatantly with a shrug of his shoulders as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Usagi paused in her movements to glare at the taller man. "Oh, and why is that?" Her small hands fisted. Howard and Leonard exchanged glances, both knowing nothing good was about to happen. Howard dove under the table only to appear on the other side of the booth . His actions went ignored as Usagi's attention was focused on Sheldon.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sheldon questioned in surprise at her irritation. "They are important figures in the world of comic books. By comparison, anything you have come up with in your novelistic story line is anything but impressive. Your characters are overly sexualized and too cliché for even the youngest of readers. Their only purpose is to serve as a means for sexual escape for people like my deprived friends Howard and Raj, both of whom, I believe."

"Overly sexualized and cliché?" Usagi all but growled under her breath. "Like grown men running around in spandex with child sidekicks doesn't imply homo pedophiles with superiority complexes and daddy issues? As for cliché, at least all of my characters don't have the same letter for their first and last name! Pepper Potts, Peter Parker, Green Goblin, Doctor Doom, need I say more?"

"See I told you!" Raj exclaimed as he turned an accusing stare to his friends. "I knew I wasn't the only one to catch onto it!"

"I can't believe you would imply such a thing!" Sheldon pushed Raj out of the way as he prepared himself to defend his beloved Stan Lee. "He can't help it if his genius went with clever alliterations."

"Really? You are upset about that of all things?" Leonard questioned in confusion.

"Well, of course," Sheldon defended himself. "What else would I have to be upset about?"

"Oh," Howard shrugged. "Nothing besides the fact she just called the majority of your idols gay for their sidekicks."

"She did what?!"

"If you'll excuse me," Usagi started as she tried to slide out of the booth. Sheldon refused to budge though and he sat on the edge of the seat, blocking her path yet again. "I have much better things to do than argue with American hillbillies such as yourself."

"Not so fast," Sheldon reprimanded her. He was intent to make his point and make her see it before she went anywhere.

"Sheldon," Leonard tried to warn as his eyes watched the blonde woman closely. She was shaking and her hands were fisting repeatedly. With the way she was glaring at Sheldon, Leonard wasn't sure if they would EVER be allowed back into the Cheesecake Factory.

"Hey guys," Penny exclaimed as she suddenly appeared. Her voice was strained. She knew exactly what was going on and she wanted the guys away from her customer. Penny needed all of the good tips she could get if she was going to keep the lights on this month. If what the guys had said was true, then this girl was loaded. "Whatcha doing?"

"I was just about to inform Ms. Tsukino that, though her efforts are amusing, she simply does not have the talent or imagination required to –"

"Oh shit!" Penny shouted as Sheldon found himself on the floor, hand cupping his nose. When he had turned to address Usagi, she had taken advantage and introduced his face to her fist. As he lay on the floor, clutching his bloody nose, she proceeded to shout obscenities to him in her native language.

The entire place had grown quiet as everyone watched the fuming blonde gather her things and storm from the building. Her voice shouting in her native tongue the entire way.

"Thanks guys," Penny all but growled. "Not only did you piss her off, but she left without paying the bill. I'll just add it to yours." Penny reached for the receipt that she had planned to drop off to the girl.

"That's fine. It was our fault anyway. Besides, how much could one girl eat—Holly Shit!" Leonard exclaimed as he looked at the bill that had managed to jump the triple digit mark.

"Don't forget to leave the tip, and make it good or you and your buddies won't be seeing the inside of the cheesecake factory for a very long time…" With a quick look at all of the guys, Penny turned around to inform the manager how her friends planned to cover the bill for the girl.

"Guys, we need to get Sheldon to the hospital," Howard exclaimed as he grabbed more napkins, pressing them to Sheldon's face. Leonard sighed as Raj moved to help Howard move Sheldon. Today just kept getting better and better…

**…**

* * *

**...**

"Okay, Sheldon, you need to lie down and get some rest. The pain medication will be wearing off soon," Leonard explained as he dumped Sheldon onto the bed. The entire way from the hospital, Sheldon had been revealing his secret identity as Batman and demanded the promise from Leonard and the others that none would speak of it.

Before Leonard could make a clean getaway in order to go talk to Penny and apologize, Sheldon called to him. "Sthing sthoft kitteh for meh?" His voice was slightly strained and his words somewhat slurred from the numbing.

"No."

"Buh Iz sthick," Sheldon whined as best he could.

"No, you're not. Besides, soft kitty won't cure stupidity and ignorance," Leonard stated before leaving the room. Sheldon was left to wallow in his own self-pity.

"Well, sthince no one cares…" Sheldon adjusted himself under the covers. "Sthoft kitteh, warm kitteh, whittle bawl of fur, pretteh kitteh, sthleepy kitteh, pur, pur, pur…" With the aid of his medications, Sheldon quickly began to fall asleep.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long as he was disturbed by the sound of someone moving in his room. Eyes flying open, Sheldon looked to the end of his bed, where he found Usagi Tsukino standing there with her arms crossed and a brow arched.

"How didth yew ge in 'ere?" Sheldon demanded to know. "Yew can nawt be 'ere, no one cahn be in my room." Usagi grinned and began to look around the room, and she took notice of two framed pieces of paper.

"No!" Sheldon exclaimed as he moved to stand, but a wave of dizziness had him falling back down to the bed.

"Sheldon," Leonard opened the door just as Usagi slipped to stand behind it, evading discovery. "What are you doing? I told you to go to bed!"

"I sthaw Tsuthkinow," Sheldon stated as he pointed towards the door. "She ish 'ere!"

"Sure she is," Leonard rolled his eyes. "Now get back in bed. I'm going over to Penny's to apologize for your behavior. I don't want to hear another word out of you."

"Buh…buh…" Sheldon tried to argue but Leonard ignored him. When the door shut, Usagi wiggled her fingers at him mockingly.

"How did yew find meh?" Sheldon demanded.

"Apparently you've pissed off a lot of people in your day, Shelly," Usagi grinned as she moved to stand in front of him. "And after thinking it over, I thought I should come and apologize. Not for breaking your nose!" She insisted when Sheldon looked ready to talk. "But for you not believing in my story. Some people are just harder to convince than others, but I know something to convince you, Shelly."

"Yew do?" Sheldon questioned.

"Watch," Usagi grinned. In his drug induced haze, Sheldon watched in fascination as Usagi Tsukino called out a phrase that soon transformed her into an easily recognizable figure, Super Sailor Moon. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He stared in both horror and fascination at what he was seeing, and Usagi—no, Sailor Moon—grinned in satisfaction.

"What do you have to say now?" She demanded to know while leaning down to invade his personal space.

It took several minutes of deep thought before he exclaimed, "I'm Batmahn! It's a secret…shhhh!" With his declaration now over, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell backward to lie awkwardly across his bed. Sailor Moon just sighed and rolled her eyes.

"American men are so weird," She exclaimed before turning to leave through the window.

**…**

* * *

**...**

"Ow," Sheldon groaned as he awoke in the morning. His hand went straight for his head as he blinked his eyes open. When he realized what position he laid in, Sheldon shot up and looked around. Memories from last night flooded his mind, and he began to chant his denial softly to himself.

"It was the medication," Sheldon insisted. When he had repeated it enough times to himself, he stood, and two things fluttered to the floor. Looking down, he retrieved them. One was a restraining order from Usagi Tsukino, effective starting the next day, and the other was a white feather with a piece of golden hair attached to it with a pink ribbon tying them together.

"Oh God," Sheldon groaned in horror as he realized the truth behind these two things. "She was in my room. No one can be in my room. People aren't allowed in my room!" Tossing the two things into his dresser drawer, Sheldon ran into the living room.

"She was in my room!" Sheldon exclaimed to his three friends. "She came into my room!"

"Who?" Raj questioned and Leonard shushed him, but it was too late.

"Tsukino was in my room and she was dressed as that woman from her comic!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"Which one?" Raj questioned in curiosity.

"Does it matter?" Howard questioned. "Any woman in heels and a mini-skirt that short in any of our rooms is a miracle enough. Let's not get picky," Howard insisted as he turned his attention back to Sheldon. "Sheldon, she couldn't have possibly been in _your_ room because she was in mine."

"She was?" Sheldon questioned in confusion.

"Yes, she and I enjoyed a full night of wand play if you know what I mean," Howard grinned.

"She didn't have her wand last night…" Sheldon stated to himself in confusion. "How could she have been with you all night when she was in my room?"

"Sheldon, she wasn't in anybody's room last night. Howard likes to play pretend in his bubble bath and sometimes carries it over to the bedroom," Leonard exclaimed with mild disgust.

"Like you didn't play with yourself last night after meeting her? I know I'm not the only one who imagined her bouncing around in the room in that miniskirt and heels!" Howard demanded as he stood and looked around. Raj and Leonard looked away in embarrassment.

"There is only one way to solve this," Sheldon exclaimed.

"What's that?" Leonard questioned in boredom, already figuring what was to come.

"We go to the comic book store!" Sheldon grabbed his purse and moved to the door. When no one followed he turned back to them and ushered to the hallway. "Any day now!"

"You're not even dressed!" Raj pointed out.

"There isn't any time, now let's go!" Sheldon demanded.

"If we don't, he'll never shut up," Leonard stood and grabbed his wallet. The others slowly followed after him.

**…**

* * *

**...**

"Wow," Leonard whistled as he noticed the long line coming out of the comic book store. There were a lot of people waiting to see Usagi Tsukino. Men and women, young kids and teenagers, and the usual attendees of grown men living with their mothers.

"Quite a few people dressed up for this," Raj noted. "Look at that guy, he looks just like Tuxedo Kamen!" Raj gushed. "Sailor Moon is so lucky to have such a hunk like him to fight evil for her and throw roses in her honor. If I were so lucky…"

"You do hear yourself right now, right?" Howard questioned in disbelief.

"Oh, look!" Raj exclaimed, pointing ahead. "Isn't that the girl from comic-con?"

"Comic-con?" Leonard questioned, ignoring Sheldon who was nearly dancing in place.

"Yeah," Raj nodded while Howard motioned for him to shut up. "See the 200 pound Sailor Moon next to the Luna cosplayer? She was at Comic con and Howard and I managed—"

"—to get her to do some poses with us!" Howard interrupted after slamming the heel of his foot on Raj's toes.

"There was posing alright," Raj chuckled, elbowing Howard. "Maybe she'd be up for some more _posing_ after this."

"NO!" Howard exclaimed.

"Will you two cut it out, we need to figure out how to get through this line faster!" Sheldon demanded as he gave the others a look of scorn. After a minute or two of looking at them, he lost interest and continued to look for a means to get through the lines.

"We could always go through the back," Howard stated. They had never tried it before, but it was worth a shot. At the rate of the line movement, the comic book store would close before they got through.

"Or we could go in with the intention of buying something ," Raj suggested in a hushed tone.

"Brilliant!" Sheldon exclaimed as he began to push his way past everyone rudely, leaving the others to follow. As they made it to the door, they had to literally squeeze past a large horde of sweaty bodies before they broke past the threshold. Gasping for air, the guys slowly separated and went in search of the item they had come to "purchase".

Sheldon, being the ever subtle person that he is, ensured that wherever he walked, he could see Usagi Tsukino. His eyes were focused on her as he allowed his hands to filter through some comics without paying them any attention. After several minutes, Stuart appeared next to Sheldon.

"So, find anything of interest?" He questioned casually, knowing full and well what Sheldon and the others were up to. His sudden appearance caused Sheldon to jump and drop the comic he had picked up at random. This, along with the slight squeal of surprise, drew the attention of the people in line, as well as Usagi Tsukino herself.

Said woman stood from her seat and grinned in delight, "Shelly!" She exclaimed as she waved him over. "What a pleasant surprise. I hadn't expected to see you here today. Not after our… last …encounter…" She added a wink just as the others began to group around him.

"We're so sorry to bother you again," Leonard stuttered.

"Again?" Stuart questioned in confusion.

"Long story for another time," Howard whispered.

"You see, Sheldon here had a dream about you and insisted on coming to talk to you," Leonard continued to explain while someone in the crowd hollered that Sheldon wasn't the only one who had Usagi Tsukino co-star in their dreams.

"Oh really?" Usagi questioned. If it wasn't for the embarrassed and annoyed look on Sheldon's face, then she wouldn't pursue the topic any further. Who knew how many people in this line of geeks would bring up their perverted dreams of her and her 'characters' now? "What kind of dream?" She taunted.

"You know exactly what happened last night and it wasn't a dream!" Sheldon exclaimed in defense. "You broke into my room and transformed into that girl from your comic—Sailor Moon. You even had the audacity to touch my things!" Sheldon continued in a near panic. More comments from the line of waiting fans made their way to the front, and Usagi giggled as Sheldon began to argue with them.

Oh, this was better than she could have ever planned.

"Shelly, sweetie, I think you need to go home and take your medications," Usagi stated as she reached to retrieve a comic from the next person in line. She elegantly scrawled her signature on it, and, for waiting, she added a kiss to it as well. "Thank you for coming!" She waved the preteen goodbye and motioned for the next person.

"Besides," Usagi began again as she continued to sign her signature products from each fan. "Were you not disputing the quality of my work and such just yesterday at the Cheesecake Factory?" She gave him a mocking grin before bestowing her attention on her next fan. It was a young boy dressed like Tuxedo Kamen and he presented her with a rose.

After thanking the young boy, she turned her attention back to the four men at her side, "Now, if you do not have anything for me to sign—" She was suddenly handed over a stack of merchandise by Raj who grinned shyly. Shaking her head in disbelief, she quickly signed each item. Then, when Howard presented her with a poster with a very close depiction of Sailor Moon, she hesitated.

"Is it safe to touch?" She wondered. Howard had the decency to blush and she immediately regretted even asking. She made him lay it out so she could sign it. She then proceeded to apply germX to her hands. Sheldon still looked ready to argue, but his friends and Stuart were pushing him towards the door. Before they could exit, however, Usagi uttered one last thing:

"You're secret is safe with me," She winked again and made a "shhh"-ing motion with her finger over her lips. Sheldon's eyes widened as the others gave the two of them a look of confusion. Even when they had pushed him out the door, Usagi could still hear Sheldon's exclamation:

"I knew it!"

**…**

* * *

**...**

**Just, don't ask, haha! I blame this entirely on MegaKat! **

**RxR**

**I'm still accepting suggestions on scenarios or crossovers :)**


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